Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can’t Index

The Onion “reports” Google announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. The new project, dubbed Google Purge, will destroy all copyrighted materials that cannot be searched by Google.

“Book burning is just the beginning,” said Google co-founder Larry Page. “This fall, we’ll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.”