It’s been reported that bestselling diet manual French Women Don’t Get Fat is to get the big screen treatment. Hilary Swank’s production company has picked up the finger-wagging weight-loss manifesto that instructs the Brits on how to be as slim as their éclair-scoffing sisters across the Channel.
Here are The Guardian’s favourite non-fiction tomes: can you think up likely plot-lines for any of them? And which titles have they left out?
1) The Joy of Sex
2) Eats, Shoots & Leaves
3) Who’s Who
4) The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
5) What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Joy of Sex
Two old hippies do stuff you’ve seen a thousand times before. Laced with odd, courtly language the movie leaves people feeling they haven’t learned anything and wasted $9.
Alternate title: “Just Like Porn, But Shittier.”
7 Habits of Highly Successful People
This guy. A real asshole. The biggest asshole you ever met. Like the kind of asshole that sold you your last car. Him. He talks in cliches for two hours and if you haven’t shot yourself in the stomach by then you leave feeling empowered. Or something. Most people shoot themselves in the goddamn stomach.
The Karma Sutra
Hey…I’m just saying what a lot of people are thinking.
the Guinness Book of World Record Sex
can a guy with outrageously long fingernails find true love with obese twins while attempting to create the world’s largest paella?