Traits for the 20th Century Librarian

Why waste your time trying to be a “21st Century Librarian” when you’re just going to retire in a few years? You’re perfect just the way you are! Stick with the same ol’ thing you’ve been doing since you started working 27 years ago (and hey, don’t be afraid to remind everyone of just how long it’s been!). To raise the awareness of those around you, here’s a list of traits for the 20th Century Librarian.

  • Fear and loathe change
  • Leave technology to others
  • Librarian-centered focus
  • Be completely ignorant of any/all trends beyond 1975
  • Use only phones and email for communication (avoid email as much as possible)
  • Be a leach / be a distracter
  • Ignore others and burden them with your personal problems
  • Judge interest
  • Never ask for outside opinions
  • Never leave your comfort zone
  • Build barriers
  • Show outright hostility toward most users
  • Discuss your impending retirement regularly
  • Form a clique
  • Create bitterness from the bottom up
  • Use CEO to divide others against each other
  • Never come to work early or leave a minute late
  • Show arrogant disdain for all new employees
  • Show arrogant disdain towards anyone born after 1966
  • Hoard your knowledge
  • Schedule meeting / form committees & subcommittees as often as possible
  • Show contempt for things you only partly understand

Disclaimer: This list may or may not be based on anyone I have worked with in the past or may be working with currently.