Michael McGrorty writes: “Ten reasons the war is good for public libraries:
1. The war provides an excuse for under-funding. Previously the holes in the roof were the result of governmental neglect; now we can blame the Iraqis.
2. The federal government is at long last taking a role in the operation of public libraries. The Department of Homeland Security has become our link to the administration.
Michael McGrorty writes: “Ten reasons the war is good for public libraries:
1. The war provides an excuse for under-funding. Previously the holes in the roof were the result of governmental neglect; now we can blame the Iraqis.
2. The federal government is at long last taking a role in the operation of public libraries. The Department of Homeland Security has become our link to the administration.
3. Our school kids will have a war in their own generation to write term papers about. No more falling back on Vietnam.
4. The lunatics who come in mumbling that the government is watching them may finally be right.
5. Eventually there may be a draft, which will take many librarians, freeing up spaces for new graduates.
6. Drafted librarians will organize the military according to a more rational system after much discussion and many conferences. Hundreds of journal articles and Ph.D ideas will result. [Soldiers of the future will have color-coded stickers attached to their spines for easy identification by unit.]
7. Drafted librarians will make war much quieter as artillery is allowed to operate only in the Teen Section.
8. ALA will create Pro- and Anti-war Roundtables whose members will meet for drinks instead of attending dull meetings during the annual convention.
9. Very few if any librarians will be killed in action. When the real battle starts, they will order clerks to go see what the fuss is all about.
10. Cities will begin to name libraries after brave soldiers rather than public officials whose only connection to the library was taking a red pencil to its budget.”
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