Southern Mississippi library system bans Jon Stewart’s best-selling book

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged!
Actually, if the issue really is the naked bodies, do what other libraries do, and paint little diapers over the offending parts. I believe someone did that to copies of the “In Night Kitchen” some years ago, when it first came out. And if nakedness is the issue, then textual references of nakedness should also be hunted down and weeded.

Next, cut out the offending picture, or paste over it with a comment that this is nasty and shouldn’t be viewed. Obviously, all good people would refuse to look under the pasted cover. and they wouldn’t be offended, since they would never know what was under there. Which of course, is what clothes do.

Brother Dave Gardner was once asked if naked people were moral. He replied that if we were moral, we could all be naked. The people of Mississippi must be very immoral, if they need government employees to prevent them from seeing such things. There must be a large demand for these images, that needs to be fought against by moral librarians and the moral police!

All nude images should be removed from all libraries if one is removed. And that’s the naked truth! Thus, all art books showing paintings with naked angels should be covered over as well. In many Middle Eastern countries where censorship is an accepted government function, they routinely cover over with magic markers all offensive images, whether it is a crucifix on the wall over a photo of a patient in a hospital, a nude breast of a woman leading the charge during the French Revolution, or any woman who’s face wasn’t properly and modestly veiled. Indeed, perhaps the unemployment rate could be reduced in Mississippi, as it is in Saudi Arabia, by hiring unemployed library patrons to wander through the books and to take out anything offensive, whether sexual, political or religously objectionable.

Men only, of course. We don’t want our women to be offended by immoral photographs in the library, even if they are censors doing their job in keeping other women from being offended. The women might learn something new, or think new thoughts, or otherwise ask new questions. And we can’t have that in a library, can we? The moral order of the nation would be turned upside down if women began asking questions, especially in Mississippi!

Nude judges? That certainly is offensive to all right thinking people. And if you are not a right thinking person, then you must be one of those (insert appropriate politically incorrect slur here), and thus your opinion just isn’t important. Just pay your taxes, and shut up. What, you think this is a free country?

Finally, I also think that Jon Stewart should invite the librarians who approve of this censorship to appear on his show, and confront the Daily Show cast on national TV. That show should be a fun show to watch. But it will never happen. The librarians don’t have the courage of their hypocrisy, to risk ridicule when their prudery is explored. After all, their ideas would be naked to the world, and they would be embarassed to be exposed!