What's The Best Librarian Joke You Know?


Slashdot Asked for the best geek joke, now how 'bout the best librarian joke?

What's the funniest (best? worst?) librarian joke you know?


Q. Do you know how many librarians it takes to screw in a light bulb?

A. No, but I know where you can look it up!

Q: How many librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but first you have to have a committee meeting.

Now THAT is hi lar i ous!

This one is my ALL-TIME fave joke!

A librarian was working late one night at a small-town library. She had the door open for a breeze, and a chicken walked in, hopped up on the desk, and said, "Book, book, book!"

The librarian was a bit startled, but she quickly handed the chicken three books. The chicken put one under each wing, one in its beak, and walked out.

A few minutes later, the chicken returned, dropped those three books on the floor, hopped up on the counter, and said, "Book, book, book!"

Once again, the librarian gave the chicken three books, the chicken tucked one under each wing, took the third in its beak, and walked out.

It must be a full moon tonight, thought the librarian, getting back to her work. Of course, since everything in jokes comes in threes, the chicken came back. It dropped the books on the floor, hopped up, and said, "Book, book, book!"

This time, the librarian decided to get to the bottom of this. She gave three books to the chicken, and when it walked away, she followed it. They went across the parking lot, down into a ditch, and through a damp culvert. Good thing I wore my sensible shoes, she thought. They emerged into a little moonlit pool. There, the chicken stopped in front of the largest bullfrog the librarian had ever seen. He took one look at the books the chicken was carrying and croaked, "Read it, read it, read it!"

(Before everyone starts commenting, I know this joke was written as a children's book, Book! Book! Book! by Deborah Bruss, but I heard the joke long before I saw the book. In fact, I was asked to tell a joke during the interview for my current position, and that's the one I told.)

How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Usually 645.5. Sometimes 808.882.:)


some that are funnier than these?! I hope?


Q. How many catalogers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Just one, but she has to wait to see how the Library of Congress did it.

Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
Because she was in the non-friction section.
(From http://www.multcolib.org/kids/jokes.html

Q: What happens when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A: You get all the information you want, but you can't understand it.

A patron asked the librarian why Tales of Robin Hood had been withdrawn from the collection. The librarian replied, "Too much Saxon violence." (From http://www.booknotions.com/riddles.html

from http://www.lisnews.com/article.pl?sid=05/02/02/222 7215

Q: What is the difference between a Librarian and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: CHANGE?!?!?!

Q: Do you know where the books on Suicide are located?

A: They should be right over here, but once checked out... they never come back.

Didn't see my all-time favorite light bulb joke:
Q. How many reference librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, what kind of light bulb were you thinking about?