LISNews To Purchase LibraryStuff

TULSA, April 1, 2003 /BSNewswire-LastCall/ — LISNews, LLC. is acquiring LibraryStuff.net, Inc. Corp., a Long Island NY, provider of information technology, Tape Dispensers, and Library Blogging products to Librarians in a $56 million deal.

The purchase is expected to close before the end of time, said officials with LISNews of Key West, FL.

About half of the deal is for cash, and rest is to be paid by IOU note scribbled on a dirty napkin, due in January. LISNews will fund the purchase from cash on hand and its $50 million revolving credit facility, from the bank of Dowee Cheatem & How.

TULSA, April 1, 2003 /BSNewswire-LastCall/ — LISNews, LLC. is acquiring LibraryStuff.net, Inc. Corp., a Long Island NY, provider of information technology, Tape Dispensers, and Library Blogging products to Librarians in a $56 million deal.

The purchase is expected to close before the end of time, said officials with LISNews of Key West, FL.

About half of the deal is for cash, and rest is to be paid by IOU note scribbled on a dirty napkin, due in January. LISNews will fund the purchase from cash on hand and its $50 million revolving credit facility, from the bank of Dowee Cheatem & How.Steven Cohen, President & POO of LibraryStuff, will continue in a management, maid service and advisory role. At the time of the sale, Mr. Cohen stated, \”We are excited about the opportunity to join with LISNews and its wide range of services. They share our commitment to high quality service and together we will be able to offer area customers the best in Library Blogging Options. I look forward to cleaning up after the board of directors, and I am especially looking forward to shinning Mr. Carver’s shoes.\”

The acquisition is expected to add between $1 million and $1.5 million to LISNews’ 2003 revenue, but will have little effect on profits because of one-time expenses related to the purchase, and embezzlement planned by company officers, the company said. The purchase will have no effect on 2004 revenue as most of that will be embezzled as well, before the company declares bankruptcy and lays of most of it’s staff.

Founded in 1969, LISNews\’ customers include the Office of Naval Research, The English Department of Boiled Meats, The Canadian Beer Authority, and The American Association of Gun Toting, SUV Driving Right Wing Radicals, and Limp Wristed Liberal Librarians Everywhere.

\”This acquisition is a first step in our quest for Library Blogging Dominance,\” said Blake Carver, chairman, CEO, CIO, CMO, CFO, COO, and OOH of LISNews. The company is picking up new other new customers through this acquisition, and is adding to its homeland security, pastry making capabilities. “This is but a first step to crushing the competition we feel is threatening our market dominance. People like Cohen, Crawford, Levine and West must be stopped. They can not continue to provide this level of quality information at no cost to anyone who wants it. As a New Breed Librarian I believe the days of free access are behind us. The other bloggers will submit to our will, or they shall be crushed by our market dominance.”

\”It\’s a pretty good transaction for them, in the price range we usually see,\” said Biil Cheatem , vice president of equity research, ALA Capital Markets, Toronto, West Virginia. \”The most positive thing is that it really does give them exposure in agencies where they\’ve never worked before. This is especially good for Carver, who has been plotting revenge on the entire Library Blogging Community since little Gary Price took his lunch money back in the 6th grade.\”

Certain matters discussed in this press release are “forward-looking statements” intended to qualify for the safe harbor from liability established by the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Such statements address future plans, objectives, expectations, and events or conditions concerning various matters. Actual results in each case could differ materially from those currently anticipated in such statements, by reason of the factors noted in our filings with the SEC, including the most recent Form 10-K and Form 10-Q. Other matters discussed in this press release are just B.S.

Steven Cohen, pictured at the LibraryStuff Rome office.

Blake Carver, pictured at the LISNews headquarters in Florida.