Aaron

Nearly Work

Nearly Work is a short story about a librarian named Basil. Please read it and enjoy.

Click below for the story.

Nearly Work is a short story about a librarian named Basil. Please read it and enjoy.

Click below for the story.
Nearly Work

The library was a place that Basil hardly wanted to be in when it was open. The problem was that being there was his vocation. Many years ago he had chosen to spend his working life in libraries; he considered it to be a noble profession. He didn’t want to become caught up in any rat race trying to pull one over on a friend to get ahead. After all, he liked his friends and shuttered at the thought of rats. There were no rats in the library, but instead there were winos and miscreants, along with the more generally retarded, pompous and slovenly. Basil liked the library. Basil did not like the people. The library was a place that Basil hardly wanted to be out of when it was closed.

After locking the regal looking doors to the library with his coworkers he often drove his car on a mile circuit around three blocks, allowing enough time for the others to begin their journeys home. He would park his red 1989 Saab down the street from the library and walk up the hill to the doors. At this moment countless grand ideas crossed his mind. Gateway to Knowledge, Portal of Principles, Postern of Observation. Reopening those doors was excitingly naughty for Basil. Always he would scurry into the library as to not be seen. After this hurried motion, the library would be still and silent.

The library somehow managed to change from an entity which resembled the Platonic Form of Shit into one closer to the Form of Library. It was indistinguishable from the mythical Libraries of Basil’s dreams. Whether this transformation was something real or simply a function of his misanthropy, he did not know, but the lack of patronage afforded Basil many pleasures. The first times Basil visited the library at night he did only official library business; he felt too guilty to do anything else. Using his fountain pen and the library’s official letterhead, he would sit not at his desk, but in an oak study carrel and accomplish various tasks.

On his first visit he wrote three book reviews for the library newsletter. During his second visit he did some budgeting work. The numbers made him retch. The budgeting was so tedious and unbibliographic he was forced to move to the stacks to continue. While emotionally fulfilling this location bothered his back. He then collected 12 volumes of the Oxford English Dictionary on a book cart and brought them to the oak carrel, nearly filling the workspace with their bulk. There he worked for three straight hours.

All that he accomplished after hours allowed him to do little during the day. This was fortunate because the daytime library was all the more intolerable; he had actual experiences to verify just what a library could be. He helped patrons begrudgingly and he found himself lying to them, telling them they would have to come back tomorrow for their information because he was very busy with another project at the moment. He would keep a log of the queries that he received and then answer them in a solemn and serious manner at night.

But after the initial six months of doing library work at night, with his reluctance to enter the library (it had been obliterated by the ecstasy found within) his guilt vanished as well. He strolled around the library like a browsing patron. He was not like any browsing patron, though, he was the Patron with perfect Knowledge of the Library. If only all patrons could be like him, he lamented while secretly gloating about his superiority. He read the periodicals that caught his eye in the previous eight hours. He studied the atlases. He read books.

Basil was now spending all of his free time at the library. Every other Friday night, though, the library was held captive by a book discussion group. Although this pained him, on those nights he did not haunt the library until 11:00 PM. This allowed him to mask the obsessive nature of his new hobby; it forced him to have an evening playing darts with friends from more social times. This was an utterly joyless affair for Basil. He couldn’t concentrate on the dartboard and each time he stepped up to the oche he felt unsteady as if the library was pulling him closer. He never was a proficient dartsman so his miserable scores fortunately didn’t arouse much suspicion. After their three games Basil would immediately but without erratic haste, drain his pint and drive to the library.

He sometimes brought picnics for his evenings among the books. His meals consisted of a sandwich (made of one slice of American cheese between two pieces of while bread), a banana and a thermos of Earl Grey tea. He took his picnic in the 914s, sometimes reading about faraway places, other times just gazing at the tomes. One day after his picnic while shelving the volumes of the OED he brought to the 914s, an idea sparked in his mind. It took him only three minutes to arrange the 22 volumes of the dictionary into two columns on the floor. He gently placed his body on them and laid face down and within the next three minutes he fell asleep.

When he awoke his body was gnarled with knowledge. He fished his pocket watch out of his trousers and saw it had reached 6 AM. Employees would be entering the library in about two hours. This was his motivation to shelve the five years worth of “Harper’s” and “The New Yorker” back issues that were arranged down the staircase of the library. He had arranged the magazines in reverse chronological order starting at the top. Doing this had sickened him because he found 38 misfiled items but looking at the literary waterfall pleased him. Starting at the bottom of the staircase, he put them in their bins. After returning the occupied bins to their proper location he rushed out of the library to straighten himself for work.

The End


So, how are you like or unlike Basil? Do you ever dream of a library all for yourself?

Testosterone Book Club

The central branch of the Vancouver Public Library will be hosting a book discussion group for men only!

It is no shock that they will be reading books authored by men.

So on Sept. 21, the library will launch the men\’s only group with a chat about Tom Wolfe\’s The Right Stuff, a history of the early days of the U.S. space program.

The title is the first in a series of male-authored books on the reading list. Other titles on the agenda include the novels High Fidelity by Nick Hornby, Ernest Hemingway\’s For Whom the Bell Tolls, as well as Hunter S. Thompson\’s memoir, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Is this unfair, or is it an interesting way to get men into the largely female dominated hobby of discussing books?

Read the full story courtesy of the National Post.

Related: A men\’s book club at Radcilff University. It was started by the spouses of an all female book club.

Point. Click. Think?

\”The Internet makes it ungodly easy now for people who wish to be lazy.\” – Marylaine Block

Although the contents of this article is no news to librarians, it is quite interesting that the Washington Post wrote an article about the deficiencies of researching on the Internet.

Highlighting the need for information literacy, the article rehashes the insuffient methods that students use to obtain their information. There are quotes from educators explaining how the Internet has lessened the quality of research. One useful phrase mention is; \”the Internet provides \”breadth, not depth.\”

However, the article does highlight some postive aspects of the WWW. For instance, speeding up the ILL process.

Librarians score in the full story.

Peacefire.org vs. Filterers

The Washington Post ran a piece about Bennett Haselton of Peacefire.org fame. It contains some biographical information, details of what Peacefire.org does and there are some funny quotes like this one from Marc Kanter, marketing director for Solid Oak Software: \”He\’s being totally irresponsible\”

Read the full story.

Hackers to Save the Day?

An archvist at a Norwegian museum died without leaving record of the password into the museum\’s electronic library. How rude! To pull themselves out of this quagmire, they decided to interview l33t h4xOrs to crack the password. The director of the museum even made a plea on Norwegian national radio asking hackers to solve the mystery.

Read the full story from Ananova.

New Powers for the FBI

Thursday, May 30, 2002, Attorney General John Ashcroft freed the FBI to \”monitor\” churches, political organizations, sites on the Internet and libraries!. He called restrictions of spying \”a competitive advantage for terrorists.\”

I\’ve found nothing at www.ala.org in response to this. Perhaps everyone is too busy basking in the afterglow of the CIPA descision.

Read the full story, including a blurb from Emily Sheketoff of the ALA from the Washington Post.

See a The Guardian\’s take on the event.

Books Stolen From French Monastery

Is it me, or has there been a rash of book stealing as of late. This time the 8th century Mont Sainte Odile monastery in the Alsace region of eastern France was the victim. Over 1000 books vanished from the locked library.

Charles Dass, a former director of the library, said the value of the books stolen from the monastery is impossible to determine. They included centuries-old illuminated manuscripts, books painstakingly illustrated and hand-colored by monks. Some of the works were bound in wood.

The police were stumped for two years but last sunday there was a break in the case.

How did the perpetrator steal the books? His method was nothing less than something out of an \”Indiana Jones\” film! To find out you\’re going to have to read the full story!

From The Guardian

Scathing Report on British Libraries

A recent article from The Guardian titled How To Fix Our Libraries presents a grim picture of libraries in England.

As a country we pay £900m a year for our public libraries: a Millennium Dome each year. Is the money wasted? One thing is clear. Unless the management make significant changes to the way they work, in 20 years\’ time, nobody will be using libraries at all.

This article was written because an audit of public libraries was recently released. Written by the governmental Audit Commission, it was titled Building Better Library Services [1.86 MB PDF]. See the easily digestible summary.

“Harry Potter…” DVD Release Date Approaching

The DVD for \”Harry Potter and the Sorcerer\’s Stone\” will be out on May the 28th. Below are three links to reviews of the DVD release. Everyone seems to agree that the transfer
from film to DVD is a bit sketchy at times, but the sound is great.

Also, the reviews concur that Disc 2, which contains the extras, will
not appeal to anyone over the age of 10. There are seven deleted
scenes, but accessing them is time consuming. Here are the
first steps:

Deleted Scene Access Instructions
So you\’re braving it, eh? Okay then. With Disc Two in your player,
from the main menu, select \”Diagon Alley\”. You\’ll be faced with a brick
wall from which you\’ll be asked to select the right bricks to let you
inside. Just click on a few – the third time you fail to get the right
combination, the disc will let you in anyway. Inside Diagon Alley,
select the key on the Gringots sign. Inside Gringots, select the coins
to get the money you\’ll need to buy a wand. Next go to Olivanders and
select a wand. Once you\’ve finally found one that works, leave Diagon
Alley and go back out to the main menu. Select \”classrooms\”. When you
get to that page, select \”down\” on your remote to highlight the
creatures on the statue and hit enter twice. You\’ll be taken into the
third floor corridor, where you\’ll see a three-headed dog. Select the
flute and hit enter. Next you\’ll be taken to a room with flying keys.[taken from The Digital Bits]

Beleive it or not there are more steps. This interactivity
is meant to appeal to kids, and might, but no alternative is provided for adults.

From The Digital Bits

From DVD File

From The Home Theater Forum

P.S. If you\’re really hardcore, you\’ll buy the Canadian DVD \”Harry Potter and the Philosopher\’s Stone.\”

The DVD for \”Harry Potter and the Sorcerer\’s Stone\” will be out on May the 28th. Below are three links to reviews of the DVD release. Everyone seems to agree that the transfer
from film to DVD is a bit sketchy at times, but the sound is great.

Also, the reviews concur that Disc 2, which contains the extras, will
not appeal to anyone over the age of 10. There are seven deleted
scenes, but accessing them is time consuming. Here are the
first steps:

Deleted Scene Access Instructions
So you\’re braving it, eh? Okay then. With Disc Two in your player,
from the main menu, select \”Diagon Alley\”. You\’ll be faced with a brick
wall from which you\’ll be asked to select the right bricks to let you
inside. Just click on a few – the third time you fail to get the right
combination, the disc will let you in anyway. Inside Diagon Alley,
select the key on the Gringots sign. Inside Gringots, select the coins
to get the money you\’ll need to buy a wand. Next go to Olivanders and
select a wand. Once you\’ve finally found one that works, leave Diagon
Alley and go back out to the main menu. Select \”classrooms\”. When you
get to that page, select \”down\” on your remote to highlight the
creatures on the statue and hit enter twice. You\’ll be taken into the
third floor corridor, where you\’ll see a three-headed dog. Select the
flute and hit enter. Next you\’ll be taken to a room with flying keys.[taken from The Digital Bits]

Beleive it or not there are more steps. This interactivity
is meant to appeal to kids, and might, but no alternative is provided for adults.

From The Digital Bits

From DVD File

From The Home Theater Forum

P.S. If you\’re really hardcore, you\’ll buy the Canadian DVD \”Harry Potter and the Philosopher\’s Stone.\”