Faux-news: Librarians allocate new funds

An Anonymous Patron writes Murray State University President F. King Alexander’s announcement that he will donate his raise to the university libraries left university librarians beside themselves. You can read the complete faux news story online at www.thenews.org.

“We were so excited, we all squealed like a bunch of little girls,” Janet Marion, librarian, said.

In this tight budget year, the library is considering some extra purchases like toilet paper and umbrellas to protect students from a leaky roof. And the most spectacular purchase may be a combination copy machine and mechanical bull, which gives a free ride after every 10th copy.”