Gay Warning Over Kid Video

Where is Lenny Bruce when you need him the most to do another short: "Thank you Square Pants"

They've got it all wrong. Spongebob is GAY in the more traditional sense. He's eternally optimistic. He starts every morning declaring "This is gonna be the BEST day ever!"

That does make him quite the oddball in a modern context. His naif-like behavior would be likely to get him called "gay" in any schoolyard in the country. But you might hope for better from grown adults.

They're in New York City. They have no choice! Who can live alone there? I mean, jeeze, their friend Oscar has to live in a trash can.

And really, why do Bert and Ernie live together?

I give up. Why do people anthropomorphize cleaning products, even those who have their own television shows and then attribute a sexual proclivity to them. Holy geez if you have that much free time get a second job at McD's.

Then again I have always wondered why the loofah looked at me 'that way' in the shower.

OK, we're starting to get into some serious cross-over territory. The fountain pen collectors mailing list was just talking about slash fiction last week. In particular, Jane Austen and Tolkien slash.

Try not to think about it.

I think I'm beginning to understand the depths of this problem. I wonder if we could get a Federal Grant, or maybe even one from FOF: A Comparative Study of Intensity of Indoctrination and Advocacy of the Homosexual Agenda in the Children's Cartoons of Disney and Warner Brothers, a Longitudinal Study: 1960 - 2000.

Ronald McDonald and Hamburglar?

I don't know what to do with Cat-Dog.

OK, this whole thing has me seriously weired out. At first I thought: Who on earth has that sort of time on their hands. But then, when I got thinking about it, I became alarmed. What if they're right? Think about it.

Rocky and Bullwinkle?

Dudley DoRight and his HORSE?

Don't get me started on the whole Johnny Quest thing. That is just too sick to even think about.

OH MY! What about Pinky and the Brain...they had that whole pink skin thing going on with visions of taking over the world...