Last 'Harry Potter' Film To Be Released in Two Segments

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There are a lot of people out there who don't want the Harry Potter phenomenon to be over, and this news will surely give them some comfort.

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"It was born out of purely creative reasons," producer David Heyman told the Times. "Unlike every other book, you cannot remove elements of this book."

Unlike every other book? EVERY OTHER BOOK?

"Anna Karenina?" Offal ripe for the butchering.

Bible? Common street trash.

Wizardy geek lore for kids, geeks and pedophiles? MOST IMPORTANT USE OF THE WRITTEN WORD SINCE THE LAST MOVIE DAVID HEYMAN MADE! IT SHALL NOT BE TOUCHED IN THE NAME OF GUARANTEED BILLIONS FOR THE STUDIO! MY MOUTH - IT FROTHS!

Wanker.

Chuck, relax. He means the other Harry Potter books, not every other book ever written.