The LISNews Librarian Pickup Lines

Submitted by Blake on Fri, 09/30/2005 - 17:00

Originally posted on February 21 2003, this hiliarous collection of librarian pickup lines remains one of our most popular features ever.
The List was originally compiled, (but not tested) by Blake, Aaron and Steven. Many others have contributed to the list since.

Feel free to use them at work, conferences, out at your favorite pub, or anywhere you may find the librarian of your dreams. Note: use at your own risk, may result in slapping, or having a drink thrown in your face.
"Are you on interlibrary loan? Because, baby, you're outta this library!"
What's your cutter number baby?

I bet you have quite a nice book worm!

You must work at a busy library, cuz baby you just increased my

Are you a librarian? Well I really need to be shushed!

Damn... you have more hardcovers than my private stash

Are you a librarian, because when you walked in the room I knew I was

I couldn't help noticing what a great book bag you have

Have you heard the one about the librarian with more stacks than she
could handle?

You look like a real challenge!

No one believes I am a librarian, maybe you should try to check me out.

You have the tightest hair bun in the place.

I'm like Google, more results than you can deal with.
Did I mention I write for LISNews?
Let's play search engine:  enter your terms and see if you get
positive results.
Soooooo, people tell me that I look like Chris Sherman.
I'd catalog you under "Desirable!"
You have some back-end architecture.
Either my sight's fading fast, or you're the hottest guy I've checked
out all week.

So, you're a librarian? Do you mind if I work on your desk?

So... they say Dewey had a harem, care to help me start mine?

So they say you're like a public library, anyone with a card can check
you out.

Mind if I check you out?

I may not be a cataloger, but I bet I can find a place to fit you in.

You'd find me in the RC560.S43's!

Let's play shelf reading, you be the shelf and I'll jump in.

So is it true academic librarians only let scholars in?

My mom was a librarian, she taught me every should have access to my

Do you sleep on your books? Can I?

What's you cutter number baby?

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play librarian.

So do you mind if I use my Dewey Decimal on you?

My budget just got cut, buy me a drink

damn... you're stacked better than the LOC

Hey baby, let's play library, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

Do you know the difference between sex and The LC Subject Headings?
(No.) Do you want to go up to my room?

So is it true public librarians let anyone in?

Didn't I see you on the cover of American Libraries?

Are you a librarian? So then you can belive in open access to your

You're a librarian?? You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

I'd luuuuuv to check you out

So when's the last time you were "on the desk"

Care to do a little shelf reading?

Want to come back to my room and play cataloger? I brought my own Dewey.

Hey baby, wanna go knit?
Let's go get Dewey.
I can do the neatest thing with a full set of the OED.
I do collection development for 613.96
As a librarian, I've learned to work very well with women.
My library or yours?  Better make it mine, we don't have filters.
I'll make you scream LC subject headings.
My fingers are quite strong from typing all day.

You've never seen a LAN like mine.

Could you do me a favor and check out my new interface?

Hey, baby, what's your call number?

What's HQ stand for? That's my headquarters in the stacks, honey.

LC already rearranged the alphabet for us, hot stuff--they put H and Q together.

Mm-mm! How I'd like to cutter number!

When lovin' you, baby, I'm all about hiiiiiiigh specificity.

How I'd love to be a page in your section, sugar.

Well, stamp me received! You are checked out and I am cheeeeck'd in!

My eyebrows have never been heirarchy than when I look at you.

Please hold on a minute, ma'am; I'd like to do a shelf check.

Cutter?! I barely know her!

I'm currently offering a free trial of my new interface

I'll be the best you've ever had. I've got great authority control!

I'm rated AA. I C that you R2!

Your spouse will never know. Under the Patriot Act, I can't tell anyone you've been here!

Great bun. Does the carpet match the drapes?

Tell me about your Fantasy collection. I've got one of my own ...

Damn! You're so hot, I can't even imagine how fine you'd look in shoes that weren't sensible!

Wanna go back to my place and flout my FOI?

Just call me "Bookmobile," 'cause I deliver.

I'd sure like to get you under a Mylar cover!

So, ever see "Tomcats"?

You're someone I could really blog about.

When I'm through, you're gonna need to get your books rebound.

I'm into military uniforms, I guess that's why I'm so into U.

Are you on interlibrary loan? Because, baby, you're outta this library!

Librarians do it in stacks.

I'm totally out of bibliographic control!

You're a Librarian? If my library lady looked like you growing up, I would have been an avid reader!

I bet that you would be a CINCH!