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Obnoxious librarian from Hades now as a podcast

Since July 2007, the obnoxious librarian from hades ( is cheering up librarians around the world with satirical tales about life as a librarian in a large bureacracy. Now the blog has started as a podcast, so you can listen to the obnoxious librarian tackling management, reorganisations, l-users (library users) and other things that keep him from doing his job. For the first episode, go to Via you can get the RSS feed or sign up for e-mail alerts.

Private Party @ Your Library

Well, at least you can say someone is having a good time at the library...

After all, just because you're amongst all those books, doesn't mean it has to be boring. So next time you feel the onset of yawning and fatigue, remember the patron in the video. You too, can get on down @ your library.

Which reference book would you like to see made into a movie?

It's been reported that bestselling diet manual French Women Don't Get Fat is to get the big screen treatment. Hilary Swank's production company has picked up the finger-wagging weight-loss manifesto that instructs the Brits on how to be as slim as their éclair-scoffing sisters across the Channel.
Here are The Guardian's favourite non-fiction tomes: can you think up likely plot-lines for any of them? And which titles have they left out?

1) The Joy of Sex
2) Eats, Shoots & Leaves
3) Who's Who
4) The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
5) What to Expect When You're Expecting


Poop! from the people who brought you Gallop!

When franchises go too far.
I read the discussion about the latest Mummy movie where most critics agreed that it was time to retire that franchise, that the ideas were gone and they were just milking a dead goat.

But another franchise comes to mind in the book publishing world: Gallop!

Now, Gallop! is a pretty cool idea; it uses "scanimation" to animate still images by having stripes pass over an image thereby revealing one part or another and creating the illusion of movement. It's a simple, but extremely cool effect.

And based on the popularity of that first book, the scanimation people are releasing a second book, Swing!

And again, this is fine. But I just read that a third book is already in the works with the unpleasant title of, Poop!

Now, I don't know when an author or publisher should just call it quits, but I think a book called Poop! might be that point. I could imagine books with animals doing many other things before I would imagine them pooping. You have Gallop!, Swing!, maybe Hop! or Leap!, or, well, that's basically it, isn't it? What else do animals do? Sleep! Yeah, that'll stretch the use of scanimation to the cutting edge as animals lie completely still.

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Automated Keyword Replacement Gone Awry

Tech pundit John C. Dvorak posted at his blog about an interesting problem in automated keyword replacement. This seems to fit the law of unintended consequences perhaps?

Post Apocalyptic Library Commercials

This one from the good folks over at Boing Boing:

"When I was in fifth grade, Mississippi Public Broadcasting decided to introduce a series of short films to educate children on how to use the library. For some godforsaken reason, the people at MPB decided that the best way to do this would be through a post-apocalyptic science fiction serial with children roaming the blasted earth in a… bookmobile… like a cross between 'Reading Rainbow' and 'Damnation Alley.' Confused? So was I. I loved the library and post-apocalyptic movies and television programs, and even I was completely nonplussed. Apparently someone has uploaded the entire run onto YouTube. The music still gives me the creeps!"

The adventure begins!

Library sued for violating gamer privacy

(from the Associated Press,... not!)

Philip Landisberg, 14, participated in the Colbert County Library's Video Game Hot Licks Showdown on July 2, and scored a "dismal" 60% on "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" during the first round of the Guitar Hero Axe Attack.

"Sixty percent on that song, and on 'easy' is truly embarrassing," explained young adult librarian Sarah Brand. "That song is meant as a warm-up, to relax the kids and get them to feel good about the game and themselves. I could understand if the kid was wearing mittens because of some OCD problem, or if he was obsessively touching himself while he played, as so many boys at that age seem to do, or even if he was born with lobster claws for hands like on Nip/Tuck, but damn, that kid sucked. Is Nip/Tuck coming back? I love Christian so much. But really, this kid just sucked. Oh, wait, that's my phone."

For the record, Sean's son on Nip/Tuck was born with Ectrodactyly, or "lobster claw hands," a deformity which may seem really cool to have because you get to have claws, but unfortunately, makes touching yourself truly dangerous. And to clarify, you should actually have a love/hate relationship with Christian.

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To Serve Us.

I finally understand the mystery that is Google. It can be found by understanding the meaning behind their philosophy of Don't be evil.

When Google space aliens came to Earth to conquer us, they made the same mistake so many space aliens had made before; they based their understanding of human society on transmissions they'd received from deep in space.

When Google space aliens arrived on Earth, they had no intention of not doing evil. The concepts of good or evil did not exist in their realm. Because they existed millions, even billions, of miles away in space, the Google space aliens didn't come to Earth specifically to cause harm. They came in response to a message:

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Literary Ink Jobs

I don't know everything about librarians, but I do know that some of them are into tattoos. And by "into tattoos" I mean that they have ink work that would make Henry Rollins pause for admiration.

I can't get a tattoo (long story, it has to to with genetic bleeding problems and original sin) but if I could, I'd probably get something like those pictured in this gallery of literary tattoos. Though I wouldn't get the Vonnegut quote from Slaughterhouse Five. I'd be more inclined to get "Hi Ho" from Slapstick.

I'd like to get a tattoo over my whole body of me, but taller. ~Stephen Wright

The I, Libertine Bestselling Book Hoax

Over 50 years ago, one of the greatest media hoaxes ever was foisted upon New York City and the world at large. Overnight WOR-AM radio show host Jean Shepherd asked his listeners ("the Night People") to go into bookstores and ask for a book that didn't exist. Armed with a fictitious title and author, along with a vague plot outline, the Night People got their hooks in wherever they could. Fueled by bewildered bookstore owners and distributors, I, Libertine eventually did end up as a genuine bestseller. The crazy tale is recounted here in Shep's own words on Long John Nebel's radio show from 1968.


Electronic books with musty book smell launched

An electronic textbook Web site is launching a smelly e-book after finding college students like to be able to smell their books.

A survey of 600 college students conducted by pollster Zogby International found that 43 percent of students identified smell, either a new or old smell, as the quality they most liked about books as physical objects.

Sanderson's 'Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians'

Tim Miller Says Librarians are evil. They control all the the world's information. For years, they've shushed any ideas that might make people believe there's more to life than everyday work and play. New thoughts make for a disordered, unpredictable world-and librarians hate that kind of disorganization.

Go to the library. Check out all the books you can. Novels are the best. They tell the most truth about the world. I mean, sure, you can find some decent information in the non-fiction section. But the librarians have hidden most of the facts in the fiction stacks because they think you won't be smart enough to find it.

RFID Robotic Chair Follows You Around the Library

Swipe your RFID-enabled library card in front of<a href=""> the chair's sensor</a>, & then it will follow you, or more precisely, your card, around the library so you always have somewhere to sit. Great fun depositing the card in an unsuspecting patron's pocket :-)

Should've been a librarian

Captain Kirk wishes he had decided to become a librarian in the TAS episode "Bem". Spock, as always, responds by speaking the truth.


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On the prowl for non-US library stories I came across the following headline in the UK.

Skynet 5 Military Defense System in the U.K. Nears Completion

If you are a fan of the Terminator movies you may find this headline funny or unsettling. Here is a link to the article about Skynet and they even mention the Terminator angle.


Did he spray toes at library?

From<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><a href=""><span style="font-style: italic;">The Enquirer</span> in Cincinnati</a>: "In a case that has befuddled police officials, a Columbus man has been charged with crawling under a table at a library on University of Cincinnati’s campus, spraying a substance from a syringe on a woman’s shoes and then photographing them."

Librarian career choice made fun of in the Onion

<a href=" ">Report: Women Increasingly Choosing Dead-End Careers Over Dead-End Relationships</a>: "In addition to an overall increase in those settling for absolutely futureless secretarial or librarian positions, the study showed that more women are now choosing dead-end occupations conventionally dominated by men, such as accounting and data entry."

Science of orgasm

As a BoingBoing Wannabe (background info here) I figured I would just link directly to Boing Boing:

This month's Scientific American Mind unpacks the neurology of orgasm. It summarizes some very intriguing and also controversial research. For example, brain scans seem to show that orgasms aren't just about heightened arousal but also the silencing of the brain's "center of vigilance" to lose all inhibitions. From Scientific American Mind:

Full story at, you guessed it, Boing Boing.

This is library related. The original article was in Scientific American. Many libraries carry Scientific American.

If your internet provider tracks your surfing you may not want to read the article above. If that is the case you could read this article on microwaving vegetables.


Fake Movie Trailer For a Real Book

You know, for any other author, it'd be strange to make a movie trailer for a movie mentioned in the book. Then again, you could accuse Chuck Palahniuk of many things and normalcy really isn't one of them.

To promote his new book, Snuff, the author of Choke and Fight Club, Chuck had some folks make a trailer for a movie the character stars in. Now then, it should be noted that the character involved is an aging porn star so this trailer, while clean enough for YouTube, is so insanely not safe for work you'd be far better off watching it at home.

So pour a glass of cheap bubbly and viddy the trailer for The Wizard of Ass starring Cassie Wright, the vixen we know (not really) from such classics as Chitty Chitty Gang Bang and The Twilight Bone.

Rhymes with Orange and books...

No it's not Friday, but didn't think that I should hold onto this until then...

The comic strip "Rhymes with Orange" ran an interesting strip about a couple undergoing counseling and they use an interesting analogy, check it out.


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