The Case of the Disappearing Neighbor

We've been in the new house for just over a year now, and we've finally met most of the neighbors. It's an older neighborhood, full of late '60's suburban-utopia cookie cutter homes. People are friendly, diverse, hard working, and mostly keep to themselves. Our neighbor to the south is 92, has Alzheimer's, and needs full times aids. Across the street was a husband and wife, in their 80s, husband just died. Behind is a woman in her 50s, just retired this month. Other neighbors include a couple about our age with 2 young kids, and across from them, a very loud family. But this is a tale of the people who live next door, on the north side. They're newish, so none of the other neighbors seem to know anything about them.

I met the Mrs. shortly after we moved in, she was out walking the baby. She's about our age, attractive, nice enough, speaks heavily accented English, and was always friendly. I'd see the Mr. in passing, I'd describe him the same way, though I've never had a real conversation with him, but always get a smile a wave. They had 2 kids, one I'd guess was about 2, and the other not even 1. Part of their fence fell into our yard last year, and they just fixed it last week. They had 2 cars, an S Class Mercedes, and a little black Chevy. We'd see them coming and going, we never spent time chatting but we seemed to have a friendly non-relationship. Then one day, late last fall, everything changed. [cue the scary music]

The driveway was filled with cars, people were coming and going all the time. Then the S Class disappeared, replaced by an old Honda. The Mrs. and the 2 kids we'd seen so often before also seemed to vanish. People who had spent time at the house don't seem to come around, but I frequently see a new group of people. Now that spring has finally sprung, another surprise, a new born baby, and a babysitter. So, something changed last fall. I think I last saw the Mrs. in September and I remember thinking she looks like she might be pregnant. Any conversations I can hear over there aren't in English, so it's not like being a nosy neighbor is going to answer any questions for me.

I've learned quite a bit about Mr. & Mrs., thanks to the internet, but nothing that solves the mystery, or even gives me a clue. So what happened to the Mrs.? Where are the other 2 kids? Where did this new baby come from? What happened to the Mercedes? My goal this summer is to answer these questions, I shall solve the mystery. My leading theory was divorce, until that new baby showed up. Why would she take the 2 older kids with her and leave a new one behind? Then I thought maybe she went back home for the winter, but winter is long gone. So, I have many theories: Murder, accidents, deportation, kidnapping, UFO abductions, and last, but most boring, divorce. Other possibilities include Sasquatch attacks, Chinese organ thieves, the guys in the silent black helicopters, or simply "them."


Is it the same Mr.?

Drug bust. Nicer car was leased. Mrs. went home to momma. "Babysitter" isn't. Baby is hers.

Do they have any garden gnomes? Maybe the lawn ornaments turned on the family and held them hostage for the winter?

Same Mr. No Mrs.

I wondered about the Mrs. heading back to somewhere else, maybe for the winter. He spends allota time with the baby if it's someone elses, and the babysitter is only there when he's not, so... the mystery continues

There is a damn spooky one in the backyard neighbor's house, I wonder if it could've climbed the fence?

Maybe... You might want to get a security system. Or put some prickly bushes up around the house so the lawn art can't take over the neighborhood. And beware the pink flamingos, they're not lawn ornmaments... they're sentries.

I was going to say that they had subletted the house, explaining the newbies. But, if someone old is still around, it's a little odd. Renting a room maybe, or taking on relatives who need somewhere to stay?

Check the records on the house to see who's paying the taxes.

I wonder if it could've climbed the fence?

Never underestimate the power of the Gnomes.