Palin Throws the Book at Librarian of Congress {satire}

The editors of Shelf Awareness bring us a creepy flash forward to January 21, 2009 . . .

In her first official act, Vice President Sarah Palin has asked for the resignation of Librarian of Congress James H. Billington.

After a little distraction as Dick Cheney's staff received new business cards and stationery reflecting their transition to Palin's staff, the Vice President's Office issued the following statement this morning over Palin's signature:

"President McCain and I came to the nation's capital with a mandate for change, and I am pleased to begin that process right in the heart of Washington. When I took that oath or whatever yesterday, I looked over at the Library of Congress building and immediately had several questions.

"First, what is it with all the books? Isn't it enough to have our Declaration of Independence on display at the National Archives? Luckily the Archives have room for the upcoming Alaskan Declaration of Independence. Second, aren't books basically elitist? Most real Americans are too busy to read. So let's clear the books out and make use of this prime bit of real estate."

Read on at the bottom of this page...


Satire? Seems like drivel to me.

If Obama gets into office our taxes will be so high we will not be able to afford books.

I know, shouldn't satire be funny?

Humour is a difficult concept only for those who do not have one.

There is nothing that cannot be found offensive by someone, somewhere.

LISNews, eh? I thought somehow a political cartoon feed had made its way into my feed reader. Much to my chagrin, it's just another purported news site publishing and promoting biased rubbish.

I agree with anonymous. Not anonymous anonymous, but the other anonymous.

I think it is hilarious.

Aren't you fellow librarians a little concerned that Palin tried to fire the city's library director while she was Mayor, because she would not remove books that Palin wanted gone? If you're pro Palin, then you are pro censorship. I'm sure librarians are made of all different political ideologies... but I would hope censorship isn't one of them.

Try reading the other threads on LISNews about Palin. There are other threads than this one, you know.

>Aren't you fellow librarians a little concerned that Palin tried to fire the city's library director while she was Mayor

No because as VP she is going to have no power to censor books. Even if McCain dies she will not be able to censor things. President has executive orders and the ability to sign legislation. I don't see President mcCain or if he dies President Palin signing any censorship executive orders. As far as signing things into law if congress does not send any censorship legislation for a signature there is nothing the President can do.

Abstinence Only Ignorance is one big censorship program. It is being promoted by your Commander-in-Chimp, and I have no doubt that it would be promoted by Palin. Even though her daughter is a living example that it doesn't work.

There is nothing that cannot be found offensive by someone, somewhere.

Abstinence is the one sure way to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and also give teens, who are still developing, the time to mature enough to have a responsible sexual relationship. Many teens are emotionally scarred by premature sexual involvement -- and this diminishes capability of having a stable marriage later on in life. Teens will meet our expectations whether the bar is set low or high. If we communicate the idea that they are incapable of controlling themselves and postponing sex, then guess what -- they'll meet that expectation.

Your first two statements are totally unwarranted assumptions, and absolutely unprovable.

Your third statement is correct. But you pervert it trying to use it to support your fourth statement, which is a complete misinterpretation of reality.

It is so-called abstinence only programs that assume young adults are unable to control themselves. Those who are given the factual information they need to make informed choices can and do make those choices for themselves. They are not stupid just because they are not franchised adults. By keeping them ignorant, the right-wing/utlra-conservative bloc creates the conditions that ensure they will be unable to make proper choices.

Don't try to tell me that I don't give young adults credit for their human intelligence and the ability to live their own lives without christo-fascists trying to run their lives for them. I'm not the one trying to enslave them under an ideology of abject ignorance and subverience to arbitrary human rules that are touted as holy writ.

There is nothing that cannot be found offensive by someone, somewhere.

That happens in America. We have the Jeezits and promise rings and mindbogglingly high rates of STDs and teen pregancy.

Canada, where you're from, Michael, has a very progressive sexual education curriculum and much lower rates of teen pregnancy and STDs.

How do you have any dog at all in any of these fights?

Are you an outrage poacher? That is so strange.

We got idjits in the general population too. Have you seen the reports recently about that freaky lunatic with his "Joel's Army"?

Unfortunately, since we generally make more effort to be open, tolerant, and respectful, we're more likely to get the neo-liberals trying to push their swill down our throats instead of neo-conservatives.

My dog is the underdog. Been one of those too long. I'll stand up for the others all I can. And when any human being is subject to degradation that degrades all of us. I am first, last, and always a human being. Everything else -- caucasian, male, european descent -- is merely incidental to that. Crap like nationality is entirely artificial. I'm proud of Canada and of being Canadian, but nationalism simply isn't in the mindset.

P.S.: Don't forget to salute when you mention Maple Leaf Man or we'll arrange for the Jet Stream to swing south more often during Jan and Feb. And stay even longer each time.

There is nothing that cannot be found offensive by someone, somewhere.

>If you're pro Palin, then you are pro censorship.

Sure, so if you are pro-Obama are you then pro-Marxist?

This is your opinion. It has not been substantiated why Palin tried to fire Emmons. She fired several other top administrators as well, and in the end allowed Emmons to keep her job. It is not unusual for newly elected officials to replace top administrators with their had other conversations with Palin any of which might have contributed to her decision to fire her. If Obama wins this election, watch how many top officials will be replaced.

Wow ! Who knew there were so many prickly reactionaries working in libraries.

Shelf Awareness has done a really good job with this satire. It's particularly apt given the way the McBush campaign has been using the conceit of future fantasy in speeches about their accomplishments to come in 2013.

Palin is a totally creepy right-wing opportunist, who is deserving of copious ridicule.

And while the LOC might be safe from blatantly outrageous predations, you can be certain that she'll find another less well defended target for her fuzzy-wuzzy fundamentalist grandstanding. That's whey they brung her, after all.

But, I've got a better solution. Let's make sure she never gets anywhere near Blair House or the White House. On Nov. 4th, vote like your life depended on it. It just might.

If by "reactionary" librarians you mean librarians who wait until they hear facts and evidence before making a decision about or casting judgment about political candidates (whether one supports them or not) then I would be honored to wear such a label. Shame on librarians who jump on the smear bandwagon. Stop throwing around the labels and start dealing with hard evidence.