Friday Funnies

Stephen Colbert: Libraries Are For Cowards Has An Interview with Stephen Colbert on his new book:
"Actually, I'd buy it first. And then I'd read it. No libraries, okay? Libraries are for cowards. No free rides. The book is for heroes, and the heroes are the people who buy the book. Don't lend the book."

Definitely Punny, Maybe Funny?

We beg your indulgence while we pass on a few ridiculously silly puns from self-publishing guru Dan Poynter of Para Publishing:

Attention LEXOPHILES ...

1. A bicycle can't stand alone... it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow... fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts... in feudalism, it's your
Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
blown apart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia... The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison... a small medium at

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

April Publishing News: From the Ridiculous to the Absurd

More belated April Fools - from Shelf-Awareness, including a new imprint for Judith Regan, Harry News, ISBN lunacy and more.

Top Ten Best Sellers of 2027

thelastbook writes "Time has a humorous look at the top ten books in 2027. This is a link to a PDF File. "

March of the Librarians

I first saw this linked on Walt's blog this morning:

March of the Librarians: A "March of the Penguins" look at ALA conferences.

Sedaris' "The Birds"

It's only Thursday, but please allow me to post a Friday Funny, David Sedaris' essay in this weeks New Yorker. Sedaris' "The Birds" is funny, and the fact that the author is completely oblivious to typical bird behavior makes it even funnier.

BookPlus: A book will never let you down

Somebody writes ""BookPlus is a funny idea from scaryideas. It just goes to show the classics never go out of style, or crash."

Compact Shelving, The Video

Interval Library is really... something. Bonus points if you can name the library.

Pimp My Bookcart! Contest

Unshelved, the daily library comic strip available at Overdue Media's Web site , has had such a response to its "pimp my bookcart" series--readers at libraries and schools said they were planning to "customize, augment or otherwise pimp" their bookcarts--that the site is having a "pimp my bookcart" contest for "libraries, schools, businesses and anyone with a bookcart that needs a little something extra."

Entrants should e-mail pictures of the pimped-out bookcart, including front, back and sides. Unshelved artists Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum will judge. Prizes galore!

Deadline is January 15.

Get With The Program -- Librarians Shape Up!!

Check out this hysterical librarian aerobics tape ad from 1987 on Utube. Thanks to Jennifer from Elon U. and the Librarian Fit Club for the suggestion.


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