Friday Funnies

Librarians Hottie Calendar

Librarians always seem to be good for a laugh.

From The Spoof, news of a "Librarian Hotties" calendar for 2008. Miss February, "Matilda Krumpf" is pictured, and the ALA's spokesperson "Gladys Stoutbottom" is quoted.

What's your favorite joke? Here's 500 That You Might've Missed

If you're reading this one at work, you might want to skip it, because a) you'll spend the next 2 hours reading it, and b) you'll end up laughing out loud at least a few times.
Over on The Dilbert Blog, Scott Adams has asked his active readers to post their favorite jokes. The result is About 500 really funny jokes. The one that made me laugh the loudest (so far):
"A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail looks up and says 'What the hell was that all about?' "

This may, in fact, be the purpose of the Internet

I must agree with Cory Doctorow, This may, in fact, be the purpose of the Internet. My all-time favorite xkcd is Chess Photo. As Cory puts it: "The gag is that a prankster is gluing down his chess-pieces so that he can get on a roller-coaster, sit in the front seat, and be photographed deep in concentration over a gnarly chess-problem while behind him the rest of the coaster's riders go berserk. Now xkcd fans are submitting photos of themselves doing just this (pictured here, "Jared Meadows and Renea Campbell at King's Dominion") -- including one incredible shot of an Army captain in full camou on a military helicopter."

Stephen Colbert: Libraries Are For Cowards

EW.com Has An Interview with Stephen Colbert on his new book:
"Actually, I'd buy it first. And then I'd read it. No libraries, okay? Libraries are for cowards. No free rides. The book is for heroes, and the heroes are the people who buy the book. Don't lend the book."

Definitely Punny, Maybe Funny?

We beg your indulgence while we pass on a few ridiculously silly puns from self-publishing guru Dan Poynter of Para Publishing:

Attention LEXOPHILES ...

1. A bicycle can't stand alone... it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow... fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts... in feudalism, it's your
Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
blown apart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia... The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison... a small medium at
large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

April Publishing News: From the Ridiculous to the Absurd

More belated April Fools - from Shelf-Awareness, including a new imprint for Judith Regan, Harry News, ISBN lunacy and more.

Top Ten Best Sellers of 2027

thelastbook writes "Time has a humorous look at the top ten books in 2027. This is a link to a PDF File. "

March of the Librarians

I first saw this linked on Walt's blog this morning:

March of the Librarians: A "March of the Penguins" look at ALA conferences.

Sedaris' "The Birds"

It's only Thursday, but please allow me to post a Friday Funny, David Sedaris' essay in this weeks New Yorker. Sedaris' "The Birds" is funny, and the fact that the author is completely oblivious to typical bird behavior makes it even funnier.

BookPlus: A book will never let you down

Somebody writes ""BookPlus is a funny idea from scaryideas. It just goes to show the classics never go out of style, or crash."

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