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Mock Turtle writes "Ashcroft vs. librarians -- the cartoon. By Stuart Carlson of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel."
It started out like any other morning. I woke up late, rushed to work, and sat down at the Reference Desk. Quickly after this, however, the day became extremely odd.
I found that when librarians spoke, I could hear what they really meant! Thinking my coworkers were particularly filled with vitriolic thoughts, I rushed to another library.
I spent the entire day travelling and recording what goes on in minds of mean, repressed librarians. Maybe this won't be a shock to you. If it doesn't, shame on you for thinking such bad thoughts!
For the rest of us librarians, the ones who care about our patrons, here are a few horrific examples (with more inside):
That's a good question! = I have no idea how i'm going to answer this question.
Holes is a great book for young adults. = I've never read it!*
We can get any item you need = Except back issues of "Swank."
Excuse me, drinks aren't allow in the library. = Except my 2 liter stash of vodka gimlets.
We don't have that book in right now. = We don't have that book in right now!
Aww, that's the cutest puppy I've seen, thanks for showing me all those pictures. = My cat would eat that little bare ass rat alive.
Actually, don't worry about it, this happens to computers all of the time. = You minimized your screen.
*okay, this was me -- Read More
NEW YORK (Aug. 14) - A huge power blackout hit U.S. cities spreading from New York to Cleveland and Detroit and north into Canada Thursday afternoon.
In New York City, the blackout had a significant effect on the public library.
None of the Internet terminals or other computers in the New York Library system were functioning, but the novels and non-fiction books somehow remained operational, according to patrons on the scene. Older reference librarians were able to switch to print sources in order to maintain services, preventing any disruption. Seekers of pornography crowded the reference desks asking for help and were referred to a list of bawdy novels and assorted men's magazines.
SomeOne pointed to internetisshit.org:
\"I can name 20 people from my old school class who aren\'t in Google. I can walk into any public library, no matter how tiny and underfunded, and find facts, stories, amazing information I would never touch in a month of webcrawling. I can go into a bar and hear stories Usenet hasn\'t come close to in its 22 years of waffle. \"Oh but what about the stuff you CAN get on the web?\" the netheads say. But they\'re missing the point.
This Wednesday, NPR\'s All Things Considered presented a story about Washington Park, IL [audio here]. The focus of the story was the town\'s primary industry: adult entertainment. It\'s location right off of the highway near St. Louis makes it a great location for strip clubs, and the town government has embraced the clubs as a source of revenue to improve the fortunes of the ailing community. There is, naturally, considerable opposition to this.
What I found interesting about the story was a brief statement that the Washington Park Public Library used to be one of these clubs. That must have been an interesting renovation.
Gwen writes \"New additions to the library collection!?!
The director, Jim Heckel, was adamant that none of the other seven ducklings be named Huey or Louie, after the famous Disney cartoon duck family.
In an effort to recreate the works of the Bard, experimenters at a UK university gave six monkeys a computer. "But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter 's'."
The results of the experiment have been published as Notes Towards The Complete Works of Shakespeare.
U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia banned all broadcast media from a speech he gave this week.
He was speaking at a ceremony where he received the Citadel of Free Speech award.
(It's Friday on the other side of the globe ...)