Comedian Tom Green invades Tom Green County Library

SomeOne writes " Story
says Tom Green, comedian and MTV crackpot, showed up in Tom Green County to lay claim to all so-named facilities, public opinion was understandably mixed.

"The staff here were all extremely leery," said Larry Justiss, director of the
Tom Green County Library in San Angelo, which is about 260 miles
southwest of Dallas.

"We mailed his library card shortly after," Mr. Justiss said.


The Card Filer's Lament

Jane C. Butler writes :"Still filing shelflist cards, I admit,
They're small and compact and they perfectly fit,
Right under the PC this catalog sits,
It supports the E-cat that's smiling a bit.

The large universities with miles of drawers.
Sheer piles of cards they carefully stored,
The info within them as vast as sea shores,
Whoever in browsing would ever be bored?


A librarian\'s Lao-Tzu

Via wood s lot comes a little humor for your Wednesday afternoon:

The Tao te Ching is an ancient book of wisdom, the well spring of a great religion, Taoism. It has been translated many times, by such literary luminaries as Ursula K. LeGuin, Stephen Mitchell and Alan Watts. I do no possess even a modicum of their literary talent, poetic ability or knowledge of Eastern religions. I do have one advantage that they do not. Lao Tzu, the reputed author of the work, was a librarian. This is the first attempt by a fellow librarian to translate the Tao te Ching.

An excerpt:

The highest good is like water / Water gives life to all things and does not strive /
It flows in places that men reject and so is like the Library /

In constructing, be close to the land /
In developing a collection, go deep in the heart /
In dealing with patrons, be gentle and kind /
In speech, be true /
In making rules, be just /
In budgeting, be competent /
In action, take care to be timely /

No fight: No blame.

More at Librarian\'s Lao Tzu: The Book of the Library and Its Ways.


Eisenhower Vows To Address Growing Problem of Overdue Library Books

I think it was Ender that spotted A Funny Headline From The Onion, June 24, 1957. "Eisenhower Vows To Address Growing Problem of Overdue Library Books."
"Operation Due Date" will encourage American's to return library books in a timely manner with a congressionally imposed 10 cent a week madatory late fee.


Read in library, not while driving

A funny little letter to the editor in The Arizona Republic from a woman who spotted a man reading a hard-cover book while driving, not once, but twice!
She says she did get your license plate number the second time and will attempt to make everyone's commute safer by reporting you.


Same Shinola, Different Day the library edition

frank r. hewitt writes "
Generally, mornings are pretty quiet. Especially on days like today when the weather is nasty, it’s quite pleasant to enjoy the library’s tranquil ambience undisturbed by patrons. But, like all good things, it usually comes to an end as noon approaches.

Our first patron of the day was Mrs. P, one the many senior hypochondriacs that keep the medical publishers' bottom line in the black.


About Robots

Michael McGrorty writes "
Last week I was working the reference desk on a rainy night when the traffic was so slow that I actually had a few moments to think. Being the type who likes to keep busy, I decided to take a tour of the lost-and-found drawer; we'd had a call earlier from somebody looking for a wallet, and it raised my interest in that treasure-trove of cast-offs.

If you've worked in a library any length of time you know that just about anything gets left behind, particularly by children. I ignored the clothing department and got to work on the books, dividing them into stacks according to whether I could identify an owner or no. There were a few textbooks to return to the junior high, and quite a few school binders. Inside one of them was a steno pad on which was written, in a kid's printing, this little gem, which I leave unedited:


Stripper Librarians

Jen writes \"You know Librarians are the ultimate fantasy objects when they are included in a New Orleans revival burlesque show!From the site:
\"Your host, the always suave Danny Martini, will introduce you to a prim and proper librarian who gets naughty after hours.\"


Check Out The Bookman

Tina Hagger passed along The Bookman. The Bookman is a bookshelf in the shape of a man and is a highly decorative piece of furniture as well as a sculpture.


<i>Unshelved</i> Makes Librarian Cry

(AP – Chicago, IL)
     While reading comic Unshelved the other day, reference librarian Aaron Schmidt burst into tears. Library patrons may have been confused by his outpour, but his coworkers were undaunted. “As librarians, we’re accustomed to seeing the misery of our own,” responded Circulation clerk Brent Lipinski.
      When asked about his reaction to the comic, Schmidt squeaked, “There are a variety of reasons the comic elicited such emotion. I was at first overwhelmed by the fact that there were two people [Barnes and Ambaum, the strip’s creators] that understood my situation. Then I got confused and started crying more, because I was scared that they were spying on me to get material. I then realized that there are librarians across the planet dealing with surly patrons and other malcontents. The frustration of all librarians in the world came out of me.”
      Schmidt was given the day off after the incident. He chose to spend it in the library, reading Oscar Wilde and listening to the Smiths on his iPod.



Subscribe to Humor