Humor

The BBC Rewrites classic texts in txt

The BBC has a Story on a 13-year-old Scottish girl handed in an essay written in text message shorthand. She explained to her flabbergasted teacher that it was easier than standard English.
So they wondered, Could txt take over more of our expression because addicts simply find it easier than normal writing? And could this mean the liberation of our use of language?
The Lord's Prayer, for instance, could be thought of as somewhat stuffy even in its updated version. "dad@hvn, ur spshl. we want wot u want &urth2b like hvn. giv us food & 4giv r sins lyk we 4giv uvaz. don't test us! save us! bcos we kno ur boss, ur tuf & ur cool 4 eva! ok?"

"4scr + 7a ugo r 4fthrs brt 4th on this cn10nt a nu nAshn cnCvd in lbRT + ddc8d 2 th prop tht (evRE1) r crE8d = ", is much easier than, "Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal."

User Friendly: Bear Pond Books 'heroic'

A character in the comic strip User Friendly calls the decision by Bear Pond Books of Montpelier, Vermont to purge their records lest they fall under the auspices of the Patriot Act heroic.

Today's strip also has a good idea about how to protect the customers of Amazon from a similar problem. (Not that there's much chance Amazon hasn't already been patrioted, right?)

Library Employment - A Modest Proposal

Michael McGrorty writes "
As recently as a few months ago it appeared that there would be numerous vacancies in the field of librarianship, but the slump in the economy seems to have made openings scarce. Many of my fellow library students face a bleak future of low-wage employment combined with the burden of outstanding student loans and other obligations. The situation approaches crisis proportions and threatens the future of the profession.


One solution to this problem would be the elimination of current incumbents. Quite a few librarians are old, and not many would be capable of fighting off a determined attack by a younger person. A few taps to the head in some dark part of the stacks would create at least a temporary opening (in case of injury) or a permanent one (should the victim pass on) which could be filled by a new library school graduate. -- Read More

ALA Announces Bleak History Month-- Get Bummed Out @ Your Library!

Michael McGrorty writes: "The American Library Association announced this week that it has declared October 2003 Bleak History Month, in commemoration of dismal events that might otherwise be forgotten throughout the calendar year.


Libraries are encouraged to visit the ALA site to download posters, pamphlets and other educational materials on this year's Bleak History selections: The Great Depression, the Holocaust and the influenza pandemic of 1918. Collectible stickers depicting the Kennedy assasination and the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald by Jack Ruby will be offered as well.


The official proclamation of Bleak History Month reads in part... -- Read More

Library Science Jargon That Sounds Dirty

From McSweeneys:

Access pointAuthority controlBroadclassificationClosed stacksCoextensive subject entryCollocationColon classificationCutter number

More:

Library TV: Get your sex, violence - and humor

A Modest Proposal by John Carlson, features writer for The Star Press.
He proposes a TV show about a library, because there are already plenty of TV shows about teachers, doctors and lawyers while you hardly ever see any TV shows about librarians. Naming ideas for the new show include, The Stacks, or DDS: The Stacks, and this would be the kind of sophisticated, thought-provoking television that American viewers demand.
Of course, to get anybody to watch, it would also have to include lots of gratuitous sex and violence.

Head librarian: \"How do you like our library?\"

Library patron (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger): \"Vell, zee periodical room leafs a lot to be desired, but it\'s got zome really nice stacks.\"

President Bush is demonstrating genuine leadership

President Bush is demonstrating genuine leadership. The economic growth package he recently proposed takes us in the right direction by accelerating the successful tax cuts of 2001, providing marriage penalty relief, and providing incentives for individuals and small businesses to save and invest.

Thanks to Metafilter and Eschaton.

Update: Gary Stock is all over this one.

Telephone Politics

Lee Hadden writes: \"The Geological Society of London\'s Library has recently changed their
telephone number. Out of curiosity, they tried to discover how long they
had used the old number. In doing so, they found: \"...she discovered a
Council Minute dated 18 December 1912, agreeing to install a telephone [in
the library] - but only on condition that the number should be kept
ex-directory.\"Read more about it in \"From the Library\" inside the December 2002
issue of GeoScientist.Volume 12, number 12, page 23.\"

US Bill of Rights Pared Down to a Manageble 6

David writes \"The Onion is reporting that Congress has decided that to \"tighten\" up\" the Bill of Rights, including replacing the First Amendment with the \"right to Judea-Christian and non-combative speech\". \"

A Practical Use for FBI Surveillance

Rob Lopresti writes \"The Bellingham Herald (my local newspaper) features a witty letter to the editor from Lyle Harris. Mr. Harris claims he called the FBI to see if his library books were overdue...
Here\'s The Full Story.\"

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