Humor

Library sued for violating gamer privacy

(from the Associated Press,... not!)

Philip Landisberg, 14, participated in the Colbert County Library's Video Game Hot Licks Showdown on July 2, and scored a "dismal" 60% on "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" during the first round of the Guitar Hero Axe Attack.

"Sixty percent on that song, and on 'easy' is truly embarrassing," explained young adult librarian Sarah Brand. "That song is meant as a warm-up, to relax the kids and get them to feel good about the game and themselves. I could understand if the kid was wearing mittens because of some OCD problem, or if he was obsessively touching himself while he played, as so many boys at that age seem to do, or even if he was born with lobster claws for hands like on Nip/Tuck, but damn, that kid sucked. Is Nip/Tuck coming back? I love Christian so much. But really, this kid just sucked. Oh, wait, that's my phone."

For the record, Sean's son on Nip/Tuck was born with Ectrodactyly, or "lobster claw hands," a deformity which may seem really cool to have because you get to have claws, but unfortunately, makes touching yourself truly dangerous. And to clarify, you should actually have a love/hate relationship with Christian. -- Read More

To Serve Us.

I finally understand the mystery that is Google. It can be found by understanding the meaning behind their philosophy of Don't be evil.

When Google space aliens came to Earth to conquer us, they made the same mistake so many space aliens had made before; they based their understanding of human society on transmissions they'd received from deep in space.

When Google space aliens arrived on Earth, they had no intention of not doing evil. The concepts of good or evil did not exist in their realm. Because they existed millions, even billions, of miles away in space, the Google space aliens didn't come to Earth specifically to cause harm. They came in response to a message: -- Read More

Literary Ink Jobs

I don't know everything about librarians, but I do know that some of them are into tattoos. And by "into tattoos" I mean that they have ink work that would make Henry Rollins pause for admiration.

I can't get a tattoo (long story, it has to to with genetic bleeding problems and original sin) but if I could, I'd probably get something like those pictured in this gallery of literary tattoos. Though I wouldn't get the Vonnegut quote from Slaughterhouse Five. I'd be more inclined to get "Hi Ho" from Slapstick.

I'd like to get a tattoo over my whole body of me, but taller. ~Stephen Wright

The I, Libertine Bestselling Book Hoax

Over 50 years ago, one of the greatest media hoaxes ever was foisted upon New York City and the world at large. Overnight WOR-AM radio show host Jean Shepherd asked his listeners ("the Night People") to go into bookstores and ask for a book that didn't exist. Armed with a fictitious title and author, along with a vague plot outline, the Night People got their hooks in wherever they could. Fueled by bewildered bookstore owners and distributors, I, Libertine eventually did end up as a genuine bestseller. The crazy tale is recounted here in Shep's own words on Long John Nebel's radio show from 1968.

Electronic books with musty book smell launched

An electronic textbook Web site is launching a smelly e-book after finding college students like to be able to smell their books.

A survey of 600 college students conducted by pollster Zogby International found that 43 percent of students identified smell, either a new or old smell, as the quality they most liked about books as physical objects.

Sanderson's 'Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians'

Tim Miller Says Librarians are evil. They control all the the world's information. For years, they've shushed any ideas that might make people believe there's more to life than everyday work and play. New thoughts make for a disordered, unpredictable world-and librarians hate that kind of disorganization.

Go to the library. Check out all the books you can. Novels are the best. They tell the most truth about the world. I mean, sure, you can find some decent information in the non-fiction section. But the librarians have hidden most of the facts in the fiction stacks because they think you won't be smart enough to find it.

RFID Robotic Chair Follows You Around the Library

Swipe your RFID-enabled library card in front of the chair's sensor, & then it will follow you, or more precisely, your card, around the library so you always have somewhere to sit. Great fun depositing the card in an unsuspecting patron's pocket :-)

Should've been a librarian

Captain Kirk wishes he had decided to become a librarian in the TAS episode "Bem". Spock, as always, responds by speaking the truth.

See:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cv2INuu9eo&feature=related

Skynet

On the prowl for non-US library stories I came across the following headline in the UK.

Skynet 5 Military Defense System in the U.K. Nears Completion

If you are a fan of the Terminator movies you may find this headline funny or unsettling. Here is a link to the article about Skynet and they even mention the Terminator angle.

Did he spray toes at library?

From The Enquirer in Cincinnati:

"In a case that has befuddled police officials, a Columbus man has been charged with crawling under a table at a library on University of Cincinnati’s campus, spraying a substance from a syringe on a woman’s shoes and then photographing them."

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