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Funny or Die is hosting a literal translation of a Tears for Fears video that takes place in a library. Instead of the schmaltzy lyrics, they sing about what is happening in the real music video. They really nailed libraries in the 1980s, not only does it prominently feature a monkey but a rabbi, a mullet, a quaint old card catalog, and of course a hot librarian stalked by a
creepy patron lead singer from the band who happens to be "head over heels" for her. It is subtitled for your pleasure.
I've been listening to A Short History of Nearly Everything in my car and I find it amazing that every task took so long to complete in the early days of science. It was common for one single experiment to take a year or more. I'm guessing scientists spent much of that time dressing and fastening buttons.
But yet the research produced the most amazing discoveries. It must be that slow processes produce deep thoughts.
I guess to be really aligned with the purpose of the book, I should call this Work Like an Eighteenth Century Librarian Day, but that century just seems so messy.
So for "Work Like a Nineteenth Century Librarian" Day, I propose that we take our time and do things slowly and seek timeless or even philosophical results. We should ask "Why?" of our patrons, and "Why?" of the question or of questioning itself. Seek timeless understanding. But mostly, take it slow.
Library patron: "I would like to see everything you have on Fratercula arctica."
Nineteenth Century Librarian: "Please record your request upon this document, and I shall begin the research at the first available opportunity."
Library patron: "May I inquire as to the length of time it may take to fill?"
Nineteenth Century Librarian: "I shall endeavor to satisfy your request within six weeks."
Library patron: "Only six weeks? Miraculous!"
Fashion Advice: Straight, long skirts have more than a hint of the sexy librarian about them (Chanel does a great sexy librarian just now). A full, mid-calf length is more dramatic, even poetic, in effect, but still more severe than anything bringing the droopily bohemian 1970s to mind."
So I don't know if you heard, but apparently the Annoyed Librarian has sold out and has started writing for LJ.
I saw a post that derided her (or their) new found fame as if getting paid a little money for writing is a horrible thing. But now she has to really write stuff. She has to find a way to be annoyed about libraries once or twice a week in order to earn her keep; and this means she's probably going to have to make stuff up. I hope she can figure out how to do it and still "keep it real." (sorry.)
But because of this news, I feel I need to confess something to all of my readers, the.effing.librarian has been making money writing about libraries for many years now, for example:
Dear Penthouse letters,
You won't believe what happened to me in the LIBRARY the other day. I was browsing the stacks looking for a tune-up manual for my badass Kawasaki 650 when I was approached by a woman who was pretty stacked herself. She had huge double-D's, and when she noticed my gaze targeting her huge rack, she pressed past me in the narrow aisle and pushed those well-fed puppies against my tense chest. And you can bet that's not all that was getting tense.
She was somewhere in her thirties, a little on the plain side, but pretty, with her hair pinned up in the back and her lips colored the same bright red that was printed on the "no cell phones" sign in the front of the Circulation desk. Her skirt stretched against her firm backside as she bent down to retrieve my book. -- Read More
Yay, it's Banned Books Week. But not for ugly books. Only pretty, popular books get celebrated this week.
The ALA BBW press kit says, "Banned Books Week 2008 will kick off in Chicago, with a Read-Out! The event will feature popular banned or challenged authors and local Chicago celebrities..."
See? No one cares if unpopular books are banned or challenged or reconsidered or whatever you want to call it.
I would love to see the list of books that people have asked libraries to remove that were discarded without argument or protest. The librarian just looked at it and said, "you're right, that's crap and doesn't belong in our library; I don't know what I was thinking when I ordered it. Thanks for pointing it out."
A couple of weeks ago on the TV show House, the eponymous doctor was reading what looked like some bad porn novel with a title like Bondage Women in Prison; you know the ones with no cover art and filled with typos like vajina and oreola... like the ones I have on my bookcase over here. What if someone saw that episode and came in to get that book? And it was a real book. And no other library in the country owned it, but it was available from your book vendor? Would you buy a copy to fill the request?
No, you'd make some excuse about books requiring recommendations from a prominent review source even though half the books you buy are prepubs or mass-markets or popular titles with no reviews except on Amazon. You probably wouldn't buy a copy and no one would care. -- Read More
So what secrets did "anonymous" expose by hacking into Sarah Palin's email? From what I saw, nothing damning. Only some questionable messages and this recipe:
Sarah's Polar Bear Fondue
One polar bear, cleaned
10 pounds flour
4 dozen eggs
50 pounds Gruyere
50 pounds Emmental
6 bottles dry white wine
1 pound garlic, peeled, crushed
serve with Triscuits, yummers!
or with optional baby seal paté (recipe to be sent in follow-up email)
So, no smoking gun there. Odd, you say? Why? What Alaska fishwife doesn't have at least one polar bear recipe up her sleeve?
What do you get when you take an incredibly successful series of thrillers, cross them with a really successful series of books for children, and then make a movie out of it?
You get The Waldo Ultimatum.
This summer... Waldo finds... HIMSELF.