15.Entire library stock replaced by 50,000 copies of
\"Yes, I Can\" by Sammy Davis, Jr.
14.Half-dozen recently-extracted tongues stapled to
the \"Quiet Please\"
13.Recommends Kato Kaelin\'s book.
12.Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout,
11.Library only has two sections: \"Limbaugh\" and
10.Inserts boudoir photos of herself in copies of
9.When you ask for an appendix, she winks
and shows you
8.Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the
\"Rod of Literary
7.Files Art Buchwald under \"Humor\"
6.Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the video
5.No matter what book you ask for, she hands you a
piece of toast and a
4.Uses the \"Dewer\'s Decimal System\", which involves
regular belts of
3.Instead of a simple \"Shhhh\", uses a bullhorn to say,
\"One more sound
I cap yo\' ass!\"
2.Flashes patrons and yells, \"Hey! Check *this* out!\"
and the Number 1 Sign Your Librarian is Nuts...
1.Leans over to whisper something and bites off half
of your right ear.
My apologizes, I do not know
who sent this in, or who wrote it.-Blake