LISNews: Librarian News

15.Entire library stock replaced by 50,000 copies of
\"Yes, I Can\" by Sammy Davis, Jr.

14.Half-dozen recently-extracted tongues stapled to
the \"Quiet Please\"
sign.

13.Recommends Kato Kaelin\'s book.

12.Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout,
seductively licks
the
inside cover.

11.Library only has two sections: \"Limbaugh\" and
\"Liddy.\"

10.Inserts boudoir photos of herself in copies of
Gray\'s Anatomy.

9.When you ask for an appendix, she winks
suggestively
and shows you
her
scar.

8.Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the
\"Rod of Literary
Tardiness\".

7.Files Art Buchwald under \"Humor\"

6.Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the video
store parking
lot.

5.No matter what book you ask for, she hands you a
piece of toast and a
Q-tip.

4.Uses the \"Dewer\'s Decimal System\", which involves
regular belts of
scotch.

3.Instead of a simple \"Shhhh\", uses a bullhorn to say,
\"One more sound
and
I cap yo\' ass!\"

2.Flashes patrons and yells, \"Hey! Check *this* out!\"

and the Number 1 Sign Your Librarian is Nuts...

1.Leans over to whisper something and bites off half
of your right ear.

My apologizes, I do not know
who sent this in, or who wrote it.-Blake