These are the jokes, folks
Phwoomph! Phwoomph! Phwoomh! (SCREEEEEEEEEE!)
'This thing on?!
Okay, so thank you all for coming tonight. And how about that Ann Coulter? Isn't it nice that there are people like her who prove that BSE is transmissible from one cow to another? You know, I'd call her brain dead but the Schiavos have already been through enough. I will say, however that she is probably insane; and qualify that by saying we can almost certainly drop the "probably". I mean here's a woman who was being interviewed for Canadian television by Peter Kent and she said that we had
been allied with the U.S. in Viet Nam? Kent corrected her saying that Canadian servicemen hadn't been in Nam and you could just see her holding herself back from maybe screaming at him for being unpatriotic or treasonous or something -- but she got a grip on herself and answered him very calmly, but blew it by restating that Canada did fight in Viet Nam. Damned idiot. When are people like her going to learn that not only do we Canadians know our own history better than stupid rethuglican dolts,
but that we know your own history better than stupid rethuglican dolts?
Have you noticed how stupid rethuglican dolts were still screaming hysterically about how everything was Bill Clinton's fault four years after the man left office? These are the same twits who want to ban rap music even though they probably can't understand the lyrics. A situation that first arose in 1963 with the Kingsman cover of Louie, Louie. It took the FBI two years to finally figure that one out and submit a final report that read: undecipherable at any speed.
Then there's your President Stumbletongue; a guy who's also a stumblebum. . . . Try saying that three times fast: a stumbletongue stumblebum. . . . This is a guy who invades small defenseless countries at the whim of hat.
Let's compare Bush, rappers, and Clinton for just a moment, shall we? Marilyn Manson once said: "I think if anyone like Adolf Hitler or Benito Mussolini were alive now, they would have to be rock stars." Whoa! It just blew me away in surprise that Marilyn Manson knows who Mussolni was; can you just imagine the shock if George Bush knows who Mussolini was too? Then there's Clinton; a man who still found time to read a hundred books a year, whereas Bush can barely talk. Bush, who has other
people read news papers for him, once said: "The illiteracy level of our children are appalling." Looks as if the dufus can't count either.
What's that you're screaming -- You in the back? Why do I hate America? Because you're there.
UnAmerican? Of course I'm unAmerican, shitheels, I wasn't born there, I'm Canadian. Can't be both at the same time, thank God. My god, not yours. Yours is probably as nuts as you are.
And for all you stupid rethuglican dolts out there who don't like what I'm saying, get a sense of humour. After all: It's only a joke. Besides <republican whiny voice>I have my rights! I have my free-doms! </republican whiny voice>
Oh, hell, screw the bunch of you anyway.
Thank you all for coming and you've certainly been a novel crowd.