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Daily Mail UK reports on a not quite lethal assault with HP Brown Sauce.
A man has appeared in court after taking revenge on his girlfriend who refused to stop reading the erotic novel Fifty Shades Of Grey - by squirting sauce all over her face.
Raymond Hodgson, 31, was charged with common assault after being appalled to discover that his partner of five years, Emma McCormick, had been reading the racy book.
Carlisle Magistrates’ Court heard how their tiff over the book escalated to the point where Hodgson, from Carlisle, Cumbria, decided take to his own saucy revenge.